My Motivation to Be Healthy

Brave Yes- Bikini 3

While I’d love to fit into that bikini again, that’s not where this post is going. I want way more than that…

Everyday of life is filled with lessons waiting to be learned, but I feel like last year was “life lesson bootcamp” in my life. I’ve decided to embrace this as a good thing. People sure do come out of bootcamp in extremely better shape mentally and physically than when they started; those who survive it anyway!  One of the lessons that’s been repeatedly (vividly & unmistakably) sent from above for me in the last year is that it’s time to get intentional with my physical health. Only my husband {bless his ridiculously patient & sweet soul} could count the many moments in the last year that I’ve sat in a puddle of tears feeling like my entire body had simultaneously decided to revolt against me. The entire year of life was marked by episode after episode that screamed I’m not in control and “my body needs help”. Two miscarriages, debilitating back problems, serious migraines, and one out-of-whack digestive system (not to mention reaching your personal out of pocket max on your sky-high insurance) will make you examine A LOT about life. Not so shockingly, the resounding question for me was: Am I doing everything I can to be as healthy as I can? The answer for me was: NO.

For me, the first miscarriage never caused me to question my health, it only rocked everything inside my soul. BUT the experience of seeing my body unable to do something TWICE that it once could do–bear a child–left me unable to ignore the idea that perhaps all of my body could use a little more support from all of my soul on being well cared for.

I’m not sure why I always have to learn lessons the painful way, but the Lord just seems to know I’m just that stubborn. I’m glad He still makes me learn them instead of leaving me on my own though…

I’ve never considered myself “unhealthy” per say. I exercise. (Consistently during some seasons and sporadically during others.) I eat pretty well, too. (Except for all the days I decide not to because I just don’t feel like it- sure “balance/moderation”- but I’m positive there was room for improvement.)

In between the two miscarriages, I also experienced more frequent debilitating migraines. Like the –knock you out for days, can’t stand the smell, sound, sight and definitely not taste of anything, lay deathly still in a dark room with super meds and never feel more like you’d rather die to be put out of your misery than keep enduring this– kind of headaches. I started watching for trends. That’s when I noticed that due to the emotional burdens I was carrying, the resulting stress and sugar intake, combined with their affect on my hormone levels were one massive trifecta triggering these beasts. And it wasn’t okay because they were interrupting important daily life events for me.

As if all of that wasn’t enough, the month after my second miscarriage I spent four days lying flat on my back unable to even get to the bathroom on my own.  On Halloween morning my back had unexpectedly decided to call it quits on me. As I’d turned to get out of my car in the parking lot for work, I’d crumpled to the ground in tears unable to move. Fortunately, I always have my phone in my hand so I called my husband {who by God’s gracious providence works in the same building as me and had been too late to get to his Friday morning Bible Study that day}. He literally had to pick me up, lay me in my backseat, and drive me straight for help. Thirty-six chiropractor visits within 3 months later, I was starting to feel somewhat normal. I still go weekly. I now find myself wanting to learn as much as I can about how to best prevent that from ever happening again!

If I’m being honest, by my second miscarriage any choices related to health (food or exercise) were directly dictated by my emotional mood, whatever I needed to lift the mood, which clearly wasn’t faring well for me. At this point, I lacked the peace that I was giving my body the best I could give it. I’d weighed 20lbs less before the miscarriages and this entire year of valleys. Yeah I’d had some health set backs that prohibited exercise, but the every other day pity parties I was throwing for myself weren’t helping either. While I’d like to thank (blame) emotions and hormones for ALL of the weight gain, emotions and hormones alone don’t make you gain weight. Emotional Eating, however, will. The eating part, that’s what I had to own. Owning up to the fact that I was letting my emotions control me and determine my decisions, enslave me frankly, rather than taking them to Jesus; that was the first step in realizing I had some unhealthy habits that I COULD change. 

So here is my profound takeaway from all that my body endured last year:

All of the Everything in your heart that you SO want to enjoy in this world, and everything that you want to do to make it a better place,

Ain’t worth a hill of beans if you don’t have the physical health to do it! We have to love our own bodies enough to make healthy living a priority.

I’ve been given a handful of painful experiences, and I’ve chosen to see them as the catalyst for all that God desires to transform within me. I want to learn as much from this pain as I can (so hopefully we can move on to a less painful season)! Learning to sincerely care for the amazing gift of health that He’s given me is the next step.  I want to steward the gift of this body well.  I’ve been given pretty insane freedom to do almost whatever I choose to pursue in this life, and there’s a good chance you have to: we tend to find a way if we want it bad enough. As much as it is up to me, I don’t want to be a hindrance to that freedom. We are BODY, soul, and spirit by His design. I have a new awareness of how they ALL need to be a priority!

I have SO much more to share about my personal journey to reclaiming health in my life, but for now let’s just say…





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