In Mom’s High Heels

It’s been three months since I have posted on the blog so I thought I would share why! The silence was intentional {at least for the first month}. I needed a time of healing and renewal with the Lord. Life can be SO noisy and my soul was craving a resting place! I’ve learned over the last couple years that every time I’ve slowed down, and intentionally sought the Lord in the quiet moments of the day, instead of the more involuntary mindless habit of scrolling through my iPhone and browsing the internet, that I see things with such fresh eyes. So the silence began with that purpose.  I’m sure you’re much stronger than I am, but social media has an uncanny ability to make you feel like a complete loser by the end of the day if you unintentionally internalize every single area that you don’t measure up in! So I mostly needed a break from that. But I’m sure you guys have a much stronger sense of self and don’t have that problem. Me on the other hand, I needed a detox! And it was healing for me!

When the refreshing quiet began to morph into feeling more like a hermit hiding from the world, I realized it was time to get reacquainted with this world inside of our world, or maybe it’s better described as an alternate universe altogether! And I’ve felt like a little girl learning to walk in her mom’s high heels. Carefully trying to figure out this whole balancing act of life that feels way too big for me! Maintaining the discipline of quiet time with the Lord daily {to be filled} while still feeling somewhat connected with the rest of the world {to pour out}. It’s a daily deal to sort out wifehood, motherhood, servanthood, fulltime daily jobhood to support the family grind, daughter-sister-friend hood, and then adding on top of that “maybe aspiring blogger/writerhood” and to steward it all well. It’s so easy to get all of these God-given roles confused as my identity. Then on that particular (every) day when I fail at multiple roles, I’m beside myself because I’ve failed at ME. That’s why the daily quiet is necessary to hear Him say that our identity is never threatened by our failures, it’s always fully intact: I’m His Beloved who is Fully Known, Loved, Forgiven, and Hidden in Christ. Which enables us to keep learning to walk in these roles…

moms high heels2

So while there’s been silence on the blog, I’ve been learning a lot about myself and a lot about what God is redesigning within me: It’s been UGLY and BEAUTIFUL. Like my pastor once said, “Me” is a fluid concept. We are constantly being transformed and that’s a good thing. He’s making us braver, stronger, more fearless, more whole, and consequently a lot more able to LOVE others well. But the growth comes through the stretching {which can be so uncomfortable}.

Let’s keep learning to embrace the times when the Lord intentionally calls us beyond our comfort zones; where we feel wobbly and uncertain, because “lack of strength” is the prime ingredient for growth! And the second is His Grace; He never expects us to do it without Him!  I’m learning to welcome the times I’m nervous or afraid as I’m facing something I’ve never done before, because it just means I’m being given the opportunity to overcome it! He always sees me through it! So embrace challenge and be thankful for the growth opportunities, He’s giving us the chance to become who we really want to be! Let’s keep learning how to walk in these shoes that feel entirely too big for us, because God sees the “us” that will one day Be!

“I love you, Lord. You are my Strength.” Psalms 18:1

(*Above Photo by Stephanie Rausser @www.stephanierausser.com via Pinterest)

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